Saturday, October 2, 2010

Watching the Wheels Turn

He's Growing Up

Sometimes I think God gave me another "baby" because He knew I couldn't handle watching my first baby turn into a big boy any other way. I remember watching him not long after we got him and realizing that he was already growing up. He never would even let us hold the bottle for him. According to American standards, he shouldn't have even still been using a bottle.

Now he's growing into his "big boy" face, still as cute as ever. He loves school. I swear that he grows an inch every couple of days. Those shirts that have been big on him forever finally need to be packed away. The pants that use to hang on his skinny little body finally stay up.

His mind is changing just as fast. He's still all boy with his favorite word being "bum" (as in the body part) and any kind of bodily excrement is just fascinating. He writes his own rhyming songs about body parts and the things they do. He's learning by leaps and bounds and still loves school.

Unfortunately I am no longer able to tell him what to like. I had to take back an adorable Halloween shirt because "Spiders are scary!" He really wants one of those tacky Pillow Pets. If a song he doesn't like comes on, he yells, "I want COUNTRY music!"

It's fascinating to watch his little wheels turn...especially when it comes to the new baby. Yesterday he told me, "You are going to be driving and the 'stretch marks' on your belly were going to crack open and you will look down and see a hand. And it will be a baby hand!" I couldn't decide whether to be scared or if that would be an easier way to deliver.

A couple weeks ago he told me we needed to take the baby to China and leave her. "Not for long, just for a little while. Then we will come back and get her." He's fully aware that he was in China as a baby and Mommy and Daddy went to get him. On a separate occasion we were driving down the road and he asked me, "Mommy, what took you so long to come get me in China?" He's also told me that we need to actually go to China to have the baby and that he wished this baby came from China. That had been after an emotional doctor visit and I wholeheartedly agreed with him.

I'm aware that some people will think that Will wanting to leave the baby in China is awful, but give him a break...he's still 3. He's just trying to figure it all out and wants the baby to be like him. (Who can blame him? He's pretty great!) Will is proud that he came from China and is happy to tell anyone who asks. Those who don't agree that he has a proud heritage obviously haven't learned much Chinese history.

Back to my emotions, they've been fairly normal until a month or so ago. Now I've cried in front of Will a few times, even though I try not too. The first time must have scared him to death as he loves to tell people that "Mommy cried at the doctor's." The last time he just looked at me from the back seat and said,"What's wrong Mommy?"

Will's so sensitive, and, we are learning more and more, quite shy. His teachers say he doesn't talk much at school. Although passionate about fire engines, he declined the opportunity to climb into one twice within a week because he was afraid it would take off with him in it. We're praying he will outgrow this stage as John and I were both shy as children (Can you picture John shy?!) and we don't want him to miss out on anything because of it.

This cute, sweet, sensitive boy is going to make an excellent big brother. He is very excited and carries around his new What to Expect When the Baby Comes Home book all the time. He constantly wonders what she will look like. (He's even told me he hopes she looks like Ella, a little girl in his class he has a crush on.)

And Then There are Morons
(I should title this part of the post a little nicer, but at 5:41 a.m. I'm feeling a little blunt.)

Just as Will's wheels are turning and putting everything together about China and babies, etc., so are the wheels of perfect strangers.

While walking through the mall and ogling baby clothes, a woman asked me if Will was adopted. (Yes, some see Will out with just John or myself and think perhaps the other parent is Asian.) She told me she was just asking because she, a Caucasian, just adopted an African American and she doesn't know how to handle the stupid comments people make. I agreed that it was difficult and it really depended on who was saying it and what I thought they could handle. She proceeded to tell me about stupid comments about how they had "darkened up" the baby, etc. I told her my greatest pet peeve, when people tell me they are happy we can have a baby "of our own," etc. Will is mine!!! So the other mother and I bonded with Will right there and I'm sure he was taking it all in. (Don't you remember eavesdropping on adult conversations as a child? I sure do!) I hope he caught a glimpse of how passionate we were about our children and how much he is loved.

Ironically, that same night, we went to Michael's Craft Night to make a little plaque for the baby's door. A soon-to-be grandmother and her daughter were there making something for their baby. She had a whole slew of silly questions...
1. Was Will making something for himself?
The theme of the class was gifts for the new baby.
2. Oh. We were having a baby. Would she be of the same relation?
My response, with a dazed and confused look on my face..."Relation?
What do you mean?" All I could think of was that she was going to be his
sister. What's so confusing about that? Then the lady asked where she would
be from. My answer, "From my belly." Now I have never been super skinny and
surely she could see the basketball attached to my waistline.
3. Was this planned? That was great that we could have
"one of our own."
My response..."Actually Will was planned. We really wanted him. This baby
was the surprise." Lucky for her my phone rang just then as I was getting
ready to go off, but you should have seen the look of utter confusion on her
face while she was trying to figure out why on earth anyone would plan on
adopting a baby instead of having "one of their own." I'm sick and tired of
people telling acting like this baby
is a bigger blessing than Will was. It's great we are "having" a baby, blah,
blah, blah. But it was just as great, if not greater, that we could adopt a
baby. Not everyone has a little Chinese angel, especially a boy, running
around their house. I wouldn't care if he was an alien. He'd be MY alien and
I love him with all my heart.

Someday, when I've had all I can take, someone is going to get an earful.
Hopefully it won't be you. You have no've read the rantings of
my blog!


  1. 1. How many hours until you deliver a baby? ...and you have time to blog?

    2. "COUNTRY music". The boy has good taste.

    3. When I tell our story of how Benny was unexpected and came while we were well into the process of adoption, I, too, get tired of people assuming that we HAD to adopt (ie. "I've heard of a lot of people getting pregnant when they give up and just adopt", etc.). Why does adoption have to be viewed as a second choice?

  2. I love your answers for weird people. And I love you:) Can't wait for little sister to make her arrival! Call me if you need anything.

  3. #3 - I LOVE your response! People just love to say the stupidest things. Like my neighbor - "is she Chinese? It's so hard to tell these days with all the Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean...." What would it matter either way??

    I hope people will see through families like all of ours that adoption is truly a blessing and not a "last resort." I love all of our children - step- or adopted, it doesn't matter how they came to BE family, they just _are_ family.

    (PS - I'll pray the for the person who finally gets your earful. :)