The morning I confirmed it, John was asleep and I was ready to head back that direction. After all, when you've failed a test several times, you don't really expect a different result. I took just one quick glance before heading back to bed and noticed the 2 lines. You know what that means... Then my conversation with John went something like this...
T: Do you want to look at this?
J: Not really.
T: I think you might want to look at this.
J: (Squinting and looking) Okay. (Then rolling back over. After a few seconds, seems to have an epiphany. Then grabs his glasses and looks again.) What does that mean?
T: What do you think it means?
The million dollar question/statement that we've gotten in regards to our discovering we were pregnant..."I bet you were surprised!"
I'm guessing that, except for those rare people that seem to get pregnant just by looking at someone, pregnancy is kind of a surprise for anyone. For those of you who were wondering if we were trying, the answer is that we were trying to adopt again as soon as possible.
Even though I've written about it and told a gazillion people, it doesn't seem to sink in. We didn't adopt because we couldn't have a baby. We adopted because we knew our baby was in China. So, were we surprised we could get pregnant? No. Just a little surprised that it happened with no planning at all. We really would have been happy adopting all our kids and figured that was God's plan. As always, God surprised us.
The next big statement...I bet you are excited.
For lack of a better term, "Duh!" Of course we are excited to be having another child. I don't mean to be on the defensive, but the way most people say it, what I hear is, "I bet you are excited to be having a biological child." So far, I've been tired and sick and worried. The best thing about this pregnancy is that there is a lot less paperwork than last time! But I am no more excited than I was with Will. Adoption is a very exciting, albeit long, process. Everything from finding the child God picked for us to learning about and visiting another country was priceless. I'm not too excited about the birthing process. I'll just be glad when it's over.
Are we excited to have a tiny baby since we missed out on that stage with Will? I bet Will was the most adorable baby! But John and I had recently decided that we weren't really baby people. Will was walking and talking and lots of fun when we got him. I figure we have a year, give or take, before this baby does that sort of thing. I'm excited about cute baby photos, but the whole baby stage, not really. I expect that to change. But for now, someone sucking their fingers just doesn't sound that exciting to me.
The Miracle Aspect
Having a child is a miracle no matter how that child gets to you. We won't go into the details of how this came to be, as I'm sure you know as much as you need. But beyond that, we haven't really done anything. I'm trying to get plenty of rest, eat healthy, and exercise a little more. In spite of my efforts, or lack there of, we can see on the ultrasounds, that our baby has 2 arms and 2 legs, a little tiny heart that beats really fast, a spinal chord with all these little tiny bones, and itty bitty girly parts. We did absolutely nothing to make this happen. Our baby is a work of God. We don't feel proud that we made it, because really, we didn't.
A world away, God did the same thing in crafting our Will. He also led the powers that be to put us together into a family. Will is so much like us it's scary. He's perfect for us. Even though I never carried him, God chose him for us. We did no choosing from a list of babies. We simply said yes when we saw that sweet face. In fact, we're a little concerned that this baby may not fit in as well. Children, even from the same biological parents, can be night and day. I just pray I'm as close to this baby as I am to Will.
Our Beautiful Baby Girl
No worries. We will love our little girl just as much as we do Will. I just felt the need to clarify, for some, that we will love our Will as much as our little girl. And now, here she is...
